Tampa Bay Tech invitational; 2/15/13 - 2/16/13

even though this is going under the journal section of my blog.. events pass, but lessons last a lifetime. I learned a lot from this trip, not about math, but LYFU

1. actually, some of the lessons were academics-related. I now know how to write SAT style essays LOL which is the dumbest lesson to get now because I already took it and the book lied because they do judge it on length. there are probably so many other things that idk lol which means I really should take classes… but i’ll worry about that after all my obligations for this weekend are fulfilled.
2. when most of the people were playing mafia in the back, I stayed in the front with Maggie and Cat talking to Albert o.o it’s so weird.. he’s so inspiring. and a really strange kind of inspiring, at that. he’d make you want to lead others like he does. to be inspiring, yourself, AND to be inspiring yourself; going back to the transcendentalist ideals and even John Donne’s meditation 17(?)(what # was it omg) there isn’t a point to knowing or being something if it doesn’t spark ideas and revelations in other people. we should learn to bring back something, for us and for others. what are we worth?
3. I noticed, too, the differences between the schools’ reactions when a competitor for them placed.. it’s sad. some, Bucholz especially, were so “whatever” about their kids getting first place.. their school is legendary, I know, but it obviously still means something for the individual getting first place. honestly, we cheered more for your first place than you did, and we cheered more for our 16(?)th place than you did for your first. IT’S PATHETIC. our school even cheered for American Heritage, partly because we love the people over there, but mostly because RESPECT.. idgi.
4. Albert runs funny
5. I’m a lot more okay with smiling with my teeth now than I was before.. I used to hate it o.o I would smile before and it would look so insincere. but i’m getting much better with it.. hue
6. I’m glad that Oscar could integrate into the group :p still worried about trynd though. He still seems lonely.. he really didn’t have much of anyone until he moved to the back of the bus, where it was easier to hide I guess o.o It’s harder to seem lonely in a group. But people are so important.

chinese new year; 2/9/13

posting this late because my dad cut the internet

it’s chinese new year’s eve and I just got like $120 in cash from the red packet things that my cousins and my brothers and I are given every year O.o I think my parents gave me extra because i’m the oldest but idk how much the others got really. i just had 2 twenties in there. i hate receiving those, though.. i know i’m blessed and my family is well-off, but i didn’t work for this .____. and now idk what to do with it aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. i just feel like there’s a lesson that i’m not getting when i receive all this money for free.

earlier today, michelle and I played the duets for federation and uUUUURRGGGHHHH we did so badly we messed up and lost each other everywhere and sometimes the piano wasn’t following us and it was terrible -.- the only reason i hate that we didn’t do very well is that the doppler is such a beautiful piece and we botched it up.. that’s pretty much the only thing that upsets me. alyce and blanche did so well!!! grats boobs im going to give you congratulatory butt slaps because you worked for it <3 next time, we’ll have our piece prepared :p if we can, i really wanna get that doppler down LEGIT fjskfjlsdf oh and i thought it was really nice, being able to eat at michelle’s house and chill out there and look at her REALLY DUMB WHALE TEXTS WHY

my family spent chinese new year at my grandparents’ house. we always have random family gatherings, and whether it’s because of love or because of some obligation i don’t know, but we can’t turn that down. sometimes i wish we could though, because every time we visit, my grandma is visibly worse. you can practically see the time on her face and her hands and the arch in her back.. and the way she walks (with her walker). at the rate she’s wearing out, though, soon we probably won’t be able to see her walk at all…

but i think the saddest thing is seeing the books around the house. my grandpa must have bought around 50 books… books like “how to deal with parkinson’s,” “therapies for parkinson’s disease,” and even books with “cures” that i know are not going to work. he has these all around his house and i know he probably reads them at dinner and in the bathroom because there are books on the table and in the bathroom and in the laundry room and anywhere in his house with a flat surface that can accommodate a book

other than federation and dinner, today was pretty uneventful. 

I don’t know why I’m posting about it..

Christmas; 12/25/12

i think it’s one of the saddest days..

not for us. it’s a great day for us!! but i’ve never really thought about it until now. he was born to die.. his reason for living was in his death, and it was everything he built up towards, and he knew everything about his fate. he knew he was going to die, he knew when, and he knew how.. so today, we are celebrating his death as well. and both of these are definitely worth celebrating.

how did he live with it?! he knew since he was a kid, i bet. through his childhood and teenage years with the hormones and through his young adulthood i wonder if he knew through his toddlerhood or is that too cray? he knew he was going to die!! he knew that he was going to be flogged, beaten, spit on, humiliated, abandoned, and crucified for a people who didn’t care, and he went through with it. his whole life, he knew.. it’s beyond me how he didn’t go insane, knowing those things.

isn’t it amazing?! that he’d do that for us.. he had every power to change his fate, to abandon us completely like we did to him, but he didn’t, and all we can ask is “why?”

i don’t know.

thank you for you, for the day you were born, because now we can live with a hope that is outside of ourselves.. the hope that while everything is getting worse in this decaying world, we can still hold onto something that’s as powerful as you, your love, and the trade for us that saved our lives.

Merry Christmas!

veteran’s day; 11/11/12

id like to thank every american soldier for being so brave and fighting for our country like bauses, and to bless any families that may have lost a loved one to a war.

have a blessed veteran’s day~

looool today was great :P mom and dad took me out shopping for clothes because of a huge sale at GAP, so i came home with all of this stuff.

and we had such fun google+ing today!@ idek. everyone’s gaming faces were ridiculous and mine probably was, too loool. we played like 38918392 arams until 30 minutes ago because my dad came down to go to work… XD it was nice just talking with these people and seeing some of them for the first time :p FAVORITE PEOPLE!@

okay this will be a short post because i’m tired lolll aljdsjfjsd and so drunk its like 5. XD bleh

some friday night; 10/26/12

for most of today my internet was super flippin bad.. i’m not sure how bad it is right now but the last custom game we did failed hard ;___; i tried logging in like 15 times but i kept getting stuck at the login page. i connected afterward but i was still lagging so i just built cooldown reduction and tried spamming ashe ult XD

i think the weather is trolling me though because i was supposed to play a lot this weekend! but then the storms had to come and poop on my internet…

i’m feeling really happy tonight though :p because i wasn’t playing LoL, i got (a lot of?) work done and i was able to sit down and chat people that i haven’t spoken to for reals for a while. and i like it that much better because i’m in my room with a laptop and nobody is bothering me and i am so comfortable and i can sit with my legs up and talk to these people! it’s like old times again. :p i miss them. and i’m laughing so much tonight at the dumbest things like michelle saying “and the music is catchy so you’re like OH NO” 

people who don’t play LoL always ask what’s so great about it, and usually i just tell them that it’s fun to work together with people (because it is), but really, it’s freakin amazing how much you can bond with people over a game. if you weren’t close with someone before, you play oneeee flippin game and at school the next day you can be all “YO WHASSAAAAAP MA NIGGA” LOOOL and idk :p i love the people that i play with. and i also love seeing the newer players get better and better XD especially at the point where i can stop having to save them all the time and they end up having to save me LOL. oh, and the people i meet on tumblr because of league are all such nice people :p

i remember the first time playing league at me and loko’s birthday.. i think aaron told me to play kat because she was super good or something so i’m clicking whatever they tell me to and doing nothing in particular at mid XD that was the beginning of it all loool and kat remains my only mid champion

time passes way too fast.. soon, we’ll be old and in college and after that we’ll be married with kids and work and bills but i think that even then, i’ll still be playing league with these guys because it means so much to all of us..

i mean, come on. it’s not just a game. :p

customs; 9/22/12

for lack of anything creative to name this post, i’m gonna shove it under these diary entries

hee hee heeeeee. SO GOOD THESE TWO GAMES. first one was a custom with misty lauren david calvin and vincent and somehow it made me realize again how much i love these people because we had way too much fun. misty left though and it pooped on the girls team LOL the whole time we were screaming and the boys trolled the crap out of everything those poopheads lolol we were all laughing our butts off about how many malphite steps from the turrets and then about how tasty calvin was and movement speed LOL. david and vincent recalled right in front of us because they were two tanky motherpoopers and we couldn’t do anything about it LOL except kill all the wards calvin put in our base yeah that’s pretty much all we did except i got that one turret and it was awesome

after that we played a normal and it was also really funny because idk screaming LOL we all owned the crap out of everything alsjldhdkdjfs yeah idk what to say about it other than that jungling is usually so relaxing but then i couldn’t even be relaxed this game because of that dumb nocturne taking my crAp and i only pulled off 2 sucessful ganks since everyone was overextending and somehow still living kekeke either way i went 12/3 xin

i should be sleeping! but i can’t stop thinking about how the games were so fun and how i love these fatheads. when i go off to college we have to keep playing games like that. i ain’t losing anyone to distance. NO WAY!

FOOD!; 8/26/12

YAYYY today was so fun T.T at first i was pretty worried about me not being able to finish my homework so i brought out my ap human articles to read and loko even brought his homework to my house.. we ended up not doing any lols :P

i went to emily’s house first to help her “sleep the baby” and then carried everything over to my house in the spastic weather.. so strange. loko and teddy arrived soon after and we started COOKIN MAN emily so op! i’m in a weird mood right now i’m like nervous because i’m in a huge custom for LoL and i’m cold and idk and anyway loko cuts his onions so flippin slowly because he wanted to cry on the onions or something LOL and honestly they were huge and needed to be smaller but NO

and so loko made these pointless little circular shapes which he called the sun and moon, from the onion and garlic bits while emily pretty much did everything and teddy and i just found things to do randomly. :P the boys had this thing with pouring milk the right way? probably something to do with their dignity

the cheesecake turned out floppy and fat LOL so we put that in the fridge for later. the completed pasta was SO GOOD… like holy crap emily is pro loool and when we were all serving ourselves, i was flipping my bowl around and not looking at what i was doing so i put the pasta on my bowl upside down and embarassed my entire ancestry

after that, we played taboo for a while. nothing much happened, really, but we enjoyed ourselves (well at least i did) just by being in each others’ company and laughing and talking together. it was refreshing.. i don’t quite know what to say about it besides that i really love these people.

you guys will make my junior year that much more bearable. :P

independence day; 8/23/12

many times, i’ve said that it’ll be the day when i find a dude who’d love me for all of me. mostly i say it as a joke, but you know lolol.

ms. simon spoke randomly about love today o.o she said that when one day, we see someone in a different light, when a sudden wave of awe for them rushes over us, when one day, we see them like we haven’t seen them before, because we really haven’t seen them, when that happens, we’ll know. we’d know love when we see it, when our whole perspective on this person flips up, over, and around, and suddenly, they aren’t just a friend. it’s love? that’s what she told us, anyway.. i’ll see for myself, i guess.

after saying that, i think she asked loko if he wanted to make out with a hot asian chick. either that, or she asked if he was horny? LOL

anyway, i know i’m not the most aesthetically attractive person in the world. not by a long shot, man! i don’t have the boobs, the butt, the curves, the super long and soft hair, nor the whatever makes a guy turn around and be like “whOA.” i don’t have those things, and i understand.

“it’ll be the day when a guy loves me for all of me!”

that’ll certainly be the day, but i think it’s also time i stop wanting to be loved like that and start loving someone else that way, instead.

tampa bay tech; 2/17/12 - 2/18/12

my first invitational! and my second competition ever :P i thought it was pretty fun despite me getting crap scores for both the indiv and the open.. i don’t care much about the indiv because loOOOL idk any calc but i don’t have much of an excuse for doing poorly on the open.. i mean precalc for me was only last semester and i already forgot EVERYTHING. -.- i think i’ll study some precalc before there’s another open test just so i don’t utterly fail

so on thursday night i stayed up kinda late packing because i always make a list and end up getting the things, but not actually putting them in one place. i’d take out my clothes an dput them on the bed and go downstairs, take out my camera and put it on the counter, and things like that. i can never organize myself until around 20 minutes after i take everything out LOL so i got around 6 hours of sleep that night which wasn’t a lot to run on.. also i slept at 1 at the hotel =.=

on the bus, i sat with the freshman boys and played way too much pokemon with them. i couldn’t even kill anything because i’m the only one with level 55’s but i think that’s pretty good considering i haven’t even beaten soul silver yet and then aaron and sebastian CHEATED ALL OF THEIR POKEMON IN. christian was the only innocent one LOL he doesn’t even know what EV training is. 5 hours passed kind of like that.

i found myself spending ALL of my time with the freshmen. the alpha division boys don’t pay much attention to other people.. well steve and kyle do, but scott and albert only talk to certain individuals =.= the juniors kind of mingle with everybody and then the seniors have their own group, while the freshman girls just bother the precalc team LOL so i stuck with the boys because they are the least troublesome to deal with, in my opinion. we stopped at a plaza and ate at some restaurant that starts with a C (I CAN never remember the name). WE BOUGHT 4 THINGS AND SHARED ALL OF OUR SPIT because the portions there are huge and we like variety :P then we left a fat tip

oh and scott told the waiters that it was alberts birthday (because it’s albert’s birthday every 5 minutes) so a crowd of people sang for him and gave him free ice cream which he hated. LOL he is such a boob

anyway i walked around with theta division for a while after that and we boobed around until we had to ride to the hotel.. and it was such a pain because nobody could find a place to do practice tests and then girls weren’t allowed into boy’s rooms and vice versa so they had to sit out in the halls and such. albert was so stressed that he took his shirt off and started working out LOL and everyone invaded on his space and boobed around for a bit.. that night i got absolutely NO sleep because maggied and alison wanted to do practice tests and when we finally got the lights turned off, NOBODY WOULD STOP TALKING!! oh and in the middle of the night my arm found its way onto maggie’s face and i consciously remember saying “sorry” and going back to sleep LOL

tampa bay technical is really really big O.o they have buildings A through E plus a random X building.. And an auditorium and cafeteria and random other buildings. I SAW MICHELLE THERE which was cool :P i like seeing her and her boyfriend and even adam wang because they’re like triplets. anyway i had the indiv first and then the open and then we left for lunch at a mall and pokemoned some more and im getting so lazy with this post its not even funny and also i saw melodyYYY and various other heritage kids and lunch and mall and back to awards ceremony and blelbeblbleblBLBLDFHLSAKEJRGLjkfjskdjf

we rode the bus for a way, and everyone got off at the same plaza to have dinner. we had a group of theta kids + random seniors + leo and ana, and some of the kids got too far ahead and got their own table without the rest of us =.= we must have circled the place like 3 times before deciding on where to eat.. we ended up eating at fresh planet and i shared a salad with maggie LOL and then i was telling maggie to finish the rice bowl we bought or else her husband would have a million pimples, and aaron looked at the bowl and said “..that would be skin cancer right there”

LOLLLLLLLLLLllllll

mrs. herron gave us a load of time because some people had a hard time finding dinner, so we stayed at the plaza from 6:50 to around 8:30 ish which was insane LOL. we walked around for a while until we found teddy, and he took us to eat italian ice and ian came and bought swedish fish flavor which is FLIPPIN DELicious. after around 15 minutes, everyone found us and we were sitting in a big fat group in rita’s 

i think it was a good experience. i have a bit more of a feel of how a competition is like, now that i’ve been to two of them.. this invitational was a lot hard than the regional =.= i got 14 points and priscilla got 15 points LOL which is almost an accomplishment for me because she already took calc :P next time, i’ll know more, so I think my scores will continue to get better. maybe i’ll even place one day, who knows? i’m going to try my hardest to do that so that i’m not dead weight for cypress.

congratulations to cypress bay mao :P DO WORK GET PAID AND BUY A HOUSE

on bullying, on racism; 1/31/12

-.- holy crap

today in psych we watched the movie “CRASH” and dang it was such a good movie. it brought me to tears more than once as the movie ran its course… the recurring theme was racism and discrimination and things of that sort. there wasn’t actually a main plot that i could make out.. it was comprised of tinier plots of different people whose lives interacted just a bit, and in the end, everyone was changed (except the locksmith who was fabulously un-racist the entire time) and everyone developed a new perspective. the movie was SO STEREOTYPICAL IT AIN’T EVEN FUNNY jk it was funny there was a black lady named shaniqua johnson, black man stealing a car, other black man, white cop, ….sandra bullock… muslim person, asian tiger mom sorta lady, … uhh ludacris

i thought i’d mention the movie before talking about stupid freshmen

STARTING TODAY ALL FRESHMAN BOYS ARE ANNOYING, TERRIBLE PEOPLE except for aaron and jake holy crap. For some reason the girls are so much more decent and mature.

In “A” lunch, i sit at a table full of freshies except for simon, and it is frikin terrible. there’s a kid there named shawn? shaun.. something like that idk how its spelled but anyway, he’s indian/oriental and he’s a cute kid. he’s just THERE minding his own frikin lunch and then this other kid starts making fun of him for his adams apple, and he leads nearly the entire table to join in on this, except for the girls and simon and jake… the rest are just sitting there, clowning on him for “being a terrorist” and for his adams apple and i don’t even see how that’s funny. even more so because one of the kids making fun of him was also indian. i don’t even think shawn/shaun is muslim. so what we have at my lunch table is a bunch of freshmen of this sort: underdeveloped, prepubescent, white, and male.. and the ringleader is a short kid with fat glasses, freckles, pimples, braces, a lisp, and a high-ass voice with NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAn squeak out insults at this indian kid, insults that aren’t even funny but somehow are just stupid enough for the rest of the tiny white boys to join in.

and this has been going on for 3 days. 3 DAYS OF RELENTLESS SQUEAKING

i can tell shawn/shaun (whats his name) is pissed and tired because he’s been trying to laugh it off, but there’s a limit to how much people can laugh off insults and for how long -.- it REALLY got to me when the leader kid starts asking around the table: “what do you wanna be when you grow up?” and he goes around blablalbbla, points at me, i say “psychologist,” he keeps going around, gets to simon, simon doesnt say anything, and the kid goes and says “OH RIGHT YOU DONT SPEAK ENGLISH DO YOU AHHAAAA”

it took just about all my self-control not to frikin humiliate him in front of the whole damn freshie cafeteria so i just lowered my voice and ranted to simon about how dumb he is and for him to not listen to that kid (since simon is from taiwan and doesnt speak flawless english) but i guess now, i’m no better than that small white kid because i’m just here beatin on his ugly personality.

anyway, he went on with his question and got to shawn/shaun (holy crap whats his name) and inevitably he didnt even let shawn answer, cutting him off with “OH RIGHT YOU WANNA BE A TERRORIST DONCHA AHHAAAAHAHAHA”

i can’t believe all the other boys think this is funny enough to talk about for 3 ENTIRE DAYS. they are all insanely insecure or something. i’ve been NICELY trying to get them to shut up but if this goes on any longer i’m going to seriously rip on these kids.

i even told GT that all the bullying stops in high school, but really,

they’re still as cruel as middle school children.